November

Patience. This month has really tested my patience. Endurance too. When they say life is a marathon, not a sprint - they really do mean it. Whoever they are, they are completely correct. Recovering from burnout (if that is even possible), and trying to tackle my assignments on time, just feels like impending doom, constantly gnawing at your bone marrow. Deep within the inner turmoil of school over sleep, over life, over everything again. When I do end up opting for sleep, it becomes a cycle of when I wake up I will finish it. Which does not happen. This month has been me learning about my strengths. My weaknesses. I cannot handle 6 courses, that’s for sure, and I am happy to report I will never do it again. Comparing my six courses, I will say that RLG104 has in fact been my favourite. For a course without late penalties, I was always sure to hand everything in on time. This course felt fulfilling, doing course work - rewarding and seeing that completed checkmark an ego boost. The absence of a percentage or letter grades brought confidence back into my writing capabilities. To not be given a number for my efforts, but simply an acknowledgement of my merit and work. A break from the extreme highs and lows of other UofT classes that seems to find a way to crush your spirits and have you question your intelligence. 

I think it will be odd when I finally graduate though. To not have assignments due at 11:59 PM or conjure up a coherent response to a classmate’s discussion post. To not feel the weight of your insecurities and responsibilities pressing down. That’s the goal. But I can already feel myself starting to miss it. With this course coming to a close I can feel myself seeing the finish line. A marathon that took so much of my sanity and well-being. When I cross that finish line, when I am gifted with my well-earned diploma, I can’t help but feel sadness at the end of an era. Like the ending of my favourite show. The final lap of the race.

I look forward to my victory dance.