SEPTEMBER

This month has been tough in adjustments and navigation. Stepping onto campus has brought a heartache of the loss of time. The comfort the stone buildings brought, now enjoys a new smell of change as growth covers the exposed rocks with vines that I was not able to see grow. I felt sorry for myself at that time. The overwhelming state of the passage of time, how everything moves yet I couldn’t keep up. The fresh and new mixed with the tiredness of the years passed. Like a new fire lit in a burnt-out candle. It brought me back to what I was doing, how I was doing. Which was not very good. I felt an immense twisting of the stomach being behind in every aspect of my courses, like quicksand. Once I pulled my leg out of the sand, I only sink farther with my other. Pulling myself out of a rut in one class, but then having my other classes sneak up and encapsulate me in sand and despair. Perhaps that is why I have been avoiding the beach recently. My own metaphors bringing discomfort in the situation that I have placed myself in. Dusting off the sand that I seem to carry everywhere and find in everything. 

It’s funny when you find yourself sandless again. It took me all of September to be free of sand. It was challenging finding a rhythm to follow, to adjust to what the next few months will be. But it still excites me. Maybe because it is my last year, and I am tightening my grip and widening my eyes to all that I can experience for the last time as I am now. I want this year to be my best year.

I want this year to last just a little longer than the rest.