OCTOBER

This month has become a tall mountain. Commuting to campus felt like such a hassle, the long hours, uncomfortable moments of unrest and exhaustion, and the annoyance of car sickness. It felt good coming onto campus each day, though, feeling a shift in the air as things felt almost entirely normal. But as school started to pick up, the warm crowd of students became a congested street of hurried bodies, with each step towards my classes an effort on my long journey up the mountain. Walking up the stairs took mental fortitude, and picking a seat in class a milestone. The streets I would use became routine, and if I were to fall out of my routine, I would lose my rhythm. Falling back to an uncomfortable checkpoint on my journey up. I still feel overwhelmed. The school has become a full-time job with overtime. The unmoving mountain only getting more daunting. More jagged. I have found my rhythm, but my hands are calloused, my feet are sore, and my back aching. Carrying the weight of the burdens that sit on my shoulders. The mountain is steep, but looking back only brings me confidence in my journey. I am this far because I haven’t given up yet. I am this far because there is so much more to go. 

I can only hope the top of the mountain is beautiful. The view awaits me. I hope it feels fulfilling. To know that my hard work, my tears, this long journey have amounted to all the pain and suffering I feel now. That I endured to this day. But I keep going forward, I keep climbing up, this month has shown me turbulence, has brought bad weather, has tested my grit. Maybe this was the major test, the part of the journey where I bite down and prove to myself, prove to everyone and no one, that I can preserve. That I can climb. 

The view from the top better be worth it. It has to be.